Whether you call yourselves Grandma and Grandpa, Nana and Pop-Pop, Bubbie and Zeide or something even more creative and endearing, you are officially a member of the “Best Club Ever”, The Grandparents Club!  Why is it the best club?  Because of the critical role grandparents play in the lives of their grandchildren.  It’s not just about showing up on the holidays with presents, although that’s always welcomed. Rather, it’s about the invaluable connection you offer your grandchildren, and the treasures available within that relationship.

Today, there are 1.5 billion grandparents worldwide and 70 million in the U.S.  Most people become grandparents in their early 50s, and 50% of grandparents live a long distance from their grandchildren.  But, in today’s world of technology, distance no longer is an obstacle to connecting with those precious angels regularly and frequently, even though you still wish you could hug them every day!

While many believe relationships with grandchildren are sweet and just happen, they are so much more than just a “nice to have.”  The benefits are a win-win-win for you, your grandchildren, and your children.

The Importance of Grandparent-Grandchild Connections

As grandparents, we invest over $179 billion per year in toys, books, equipment, travel, education, and more.  But what’s an even greater investment you can make for your grandchildren? It’s being another source of emotional capital for them and helping them learn prosocial behaviors – how to be kind, generous, caring, and thoughtful humans.

So, what’s needed to create this emotional investment?  A strong relationship and a connection that you create intentionally.  Emotional investments consist of your love, encouragement, and time.  Share your experiences, values, lessons learned, and life stories with your grandchildren.  Babysit, pick up the kids once a week, make dinner at their home so when the family walks in after a long day, dinner is on the table, alleviating that stress and replacing it with conversation.

Meet your grandchildren and children where they are and have fun together — these are also key ingredients.  Most emotional deposits require more time than money – write letters to your grandchildren, share photos, and really listen to them as you keep up with their latest interests.

Text them — let them know you noticed how hard they worked on something, send them a joke, or share something special about them that you love.  If you’ve got the means, plan a “skip-gen” trip with your grandchildren or go “gramping” (without their parents!).  You get one-on-one time with your grandchildren to deepen those bonds and their parents get time to rejuvenate their relationship.

The Grandparent Advantage: Benefits for Grandchildren, Children, and Grandparents

The grandparent relationship comes with a whole menagerie of benefits for your grandchildren, your children, and you.  First and foremost, for your grandchildren, your emotional investment in them is something they (and you) will draw on forever.  Research shows when strong grandparent relationships exist, grandchildren report lower levels of depression, fewer emotional struggles, are less likely to be involved in negative behaviors, and develop better problem-solving skills.  In addition, they experience stronger well-being, score higher on kindness and generosity, and see you as a source of wisdom and a safe place to go for advice.

Parents gain an asset as they raise their children through life’s challenges and develop more empathy for you as they realize child-rearing isn’t so easy.  With more single-parent and dual-working parent families, grandparents help enormously in the day-to-day life of a child.  And when there is family disruption, grandparents can be a stabilizing force for young people.

For grandparents, there is the “grand vitamin” effect of all your efforts – better mental health for you, more purpose and meaning in your life, and even changing the world’s view on aging through intergenerational involvement and collaboration.

The Priceless Value of Grandparent Involvement

Grand capital is priceless in today’s world – for your grandchildren, for your children and for you.  Yes, it takes time and effort to create your grand connection.  But, if you plan with intentionality, partner with your children, prepare to maximize all interactions, play to have fun, and preserve moments with photos and stories, returns of your emotional investment will bring a lifetime of dividends from this Best Club Ever.

 

Contributed by:

Jan M. Zacharjasz, MS, PCC, CPC, ELI-MP

Contributed by:

Jan M. Zacharjasz, MS, PCC, CPC, ELI-MP, founder of Coaching for Resilience, is a Professional Certified Coach, workshop facilitator, and sought-after speaker on resilience.  She helps people in mid- to later life gain resilience through unexpected work, health, and family challenges so they can regroup, recover, and move forward with confidence and thrive again.  She has been recognized as a Top Life Coach by Coach Foundation.

During COVID, Jan created resilience skill-building workshops, delivering them to hundreds of individuals and workers nationwide to overcome isolation and burnout and build morale and connections.  Jan sees resilience as an antidote for managing the abundance of unexpected change that occurs in mid to later life.

She’s passionate about making resilience tangible and learnable for overcoming challenges of all kinds.  She uses simple, immediately usable practices so clients come away with relief, noticeable results, and healthy mindset shifts.

In addition, Jan provides life-purpose and energy assessments, is an advocate for positive aging, and serves on numerous Boards, including the Life Planning Network.  A proud member of the Sandwich Generation with caregiving responsibility for her mother and mother-in-law for over 20 years, Jan brings unmatched sensitivity, kindness, resourcefulness, and diligence to her clients.

For more information, visit www.coachingresilience.com.

 

Friends Life Care  posts on the eMeetinghouse blog. as another way to share health, wellness, and prevention information with aging adults.  Friends Life Care is a mission-driven Quaker value-based nonprofit that — for over 30 years — has been helping seniors — especially Friends Life Care members — to thrive at home as they age.  If you are not yet a Friends Life Care member, connect with us and get the answers you need from one of our Plan Counselors on the benefits of joining.  

Membership is open to people aged 40 – 85, in reasonably good health who are residents of southeastern Pennsylvania or Delaware.