Sometimes delays are gifts.

I remember a day in 2017.  It had been a particularly busy one.  And I was in transit to continue on with “more busy-ness”. On top of everything else, it had rained all day.  It was one of those dismal afternoons. When all of a sudden, traffic backed up on this particular overpass and came to a complete standstill for about 10 minutes. However, had this not occurred in this exact spot, at this exact time, I would have missed the view of this beautiful rainbow.

Most, if not all, cultures and spiritual orientations have given meaning to the rainbow. All of them indicate that the rainbow tells us to hold on to hope and that beautiful things can result from the storms of life. Having the opportunity to witness and take a picture of this rainbow definitely changed my attitude for the rest of the day. Instead of being aggravated that I was tied up in traffic and fearful that I would be late for my next appointment, I became grateful for the delay.

Several minutes later, traffic started moving, I got to my appointment on time.  And I was more effective during the session because I felt more present and renewed. Would traffic have started moving had I not embraced an attitude of gratitude? Most likely.  But in those precious moments where I was still stuck, I had the opportunity to recognize that just shifting my perspective changed my mood. In those few minutes, I had clarity that it was much more my thoughts than the actual events that led to my restlessness and dismay.

Do you let the storms of your life steal your joy and experience of the present moment?

Can you envision the “metaphorical rainbow” that will develop as a result of the storm?

This skill requires a healthy level of emotional resilience. Emotional resilience is defined as “ the ability to experience something stressful without letting it destroy your resolve, sense of purpose, or hopes for the future.” Experiencing emotional resilience means that you can acknowledge and process negative feelings instead of locking them away or being overwhelmed by them.

Why bother building emotional resilience?

Resilience is important to our sense of balance; whether that’s work-life balance or our ability to navigate challenging situations. It helps us feel like we can choose how we respond to events, even when we don’t control the events themselves.  Also it acts as a buffer against anxiety and depression. Moreover, emotional resilience helps us become better problem solvers in the face of difficult times.

Current research suggests that one major way to build resilience is by practicing gratitude. The connection between gratitude and resilience lies at the neurotransmitter level. Our brain releases serotonin and dopamine (“happiness chemicals”) when we express or receive gratitude. In addition, researchers have found that the two areas of the brain responsible for regulating emotions and memory, the amygdala and the hippocampus, become activated  when we feel gratitude. With a daily gratitude practice, these neuropathways get stronger, resulting in more sustained feelings of contentment.

12 Simple Ways of Practicing the Art of Gratitude:

1.Keep a gratitude journal. Set aside some time to write down or just reflect in your mind on the good things that have happened in your day.

2.Think about what lessons you can take away from stressful situations instead of solely focusing on your stress.

3.Write thank you notes whenever possible.

4.Meditate on things you’re grateful to have in your life.

5.Do an act of service every day for someone else.

6.Keep a gratitude jar at home and deposit a thought of gratitude whenever something big or small happens.

7.Take pictures of things for which you are grateful and reflect on them.

8.Thank everyone who helps you (e.g., waitstaff, cashier) when you’re out running errands.

9.Volunteer for a cause that has meaning to you.

10.Call or send a text to thank someone who recently helped you with something.

11.Do random acts of kindness.

12.Smile more.

So next time a storm moves into your life, don’t forget to look for the rainbow!

Contributed by:

Cindy Flores, Licensed Professional Counselor

Cindy Flores works with adults dealing with depression, anxiety, life transitions, eating disorders, interpersonal challenges, and academic/career issues. She also works with couples with relationship challenges. Utilizing a Mindfulness-based Cognitive approach, she is able to help clients identify negative self talk that limit them from reaching their potential, dysfunctional core beliefs that interfere with attainment of their goals and teach them evidence-based mindfulness techniques that enhance decision-making, stress-reduction and connection with others.

In addition, she is an adjunct professor at Immaculata University teaching graduate students in the Counseling Psychology Program. She considers it an honor to use her teaching and interpersonal skills to give back to the same University that provided her with the tools to become an effective counselor.  Along with writings such as these, Cindy has contributed mindfulness presentations, meditation courses and other engaging content to Friends Life Care.