Read About “The Lesson of the Palm Tree”
Science has determined that when strong winds come, the palm tree’s root system is not weakened, but actually strengthened by these storms! Yes, when the wind blows hard on a palm tree, the tree can bend almost to the ground. As a result, the roots stretch and grow stronger.
None of us escape difficult and challenging times
Nature can be one of our greatest teachers if we take the time to learn. There are losses, setbacks and disappointments in all of our lives. Sometimes the intensity of these challenges — metaphorically speaking — can knock us over. We can become so discouraged that we don’t feel like we have the strength to stand upright in the face of adversity.
However, resiliency can come from dealing with difficult times. It is in THESE times that we can grow stronger! A critical determining factor is our self talk about our circumstances and about ourselves. If we get stuck in anger, blame and discouragement; we may choose behaviors that prevent us from reaping the “reward” of the difficult times. Rather, when we look for the “lesson”, we expand the capacity of understanding and compassion for self and others. Once we survive the storm, we gain confidence that we can survive the next one. THAT is resiliency.
We cannot stop difficult times from happening but we can learn to find a way to maintain peace and acceptance in the midst of them.
Stop and look fear in the face…
“The encouraging thing is that every time you meet a situation, though you may think at the time it is an impossibility and you go through the tortures of the damned, once you have met it and lived through it you find that forever after you are freer than you ever were before. If you can live through that, you can live through anything. You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face.” ― Eleanor Roosevelt
Every storm, whether environmental or a life challenge, eventually ends. That does not discount the fact that sometimes damage, devastation and the need to rebuild are left in the wake of the storm. There can definitely be emotional, financial and long-term problems that result. Likewise, we can learn and evolve as a result of these storms.
Shed things that no longer serve you
There are certain facts which I have heard about palm trees that I have found useful in my own
life when times have gotten tough. Palm trees are self-cleaning; they shed and get rid of dead leaves. Sometimes after the storms of life, we learn that there are things that we were holding onto that no longer serve us well. After the storm has passed, we have the option to continue to lament loss or to focus on rebuilding in a way that meets our current needs.
Grow in relationship to others
When we face adversity, there can be a propensity to want to isolate. We can feel broken, like we failed, or don’t deserve success. However, the palm tree grows with other trees because they are stronger individually as a result of “growing in relationship” to each other.
When we go through the trials of life, it can be very valuable to reach out to others who have gone through similar circumstances. Strength can develop when we feel heard, supported, and mentored by those who are further down the path of rebuilding.
The older the palm tree, the sweeter the fruit
As we travel down the path of life, we typically have had to endure more losses and challenges than a younger person. We can develop wisdom and resilience that can help those who will eventually face similar adversities.
Therefore, as we age, we have the opportunity to develop “sweeter fruit” if we avoid the resentment or bitterness that can easily result from our life storms.
We cannot side step problems and major life losses but perhaps we are better off for not being able to do so. We have more choice than we often recognize as to HOW we will change from these situations. It is easy to want to resist change but the one thing that I know for sure is that change is inevitable. It is our option how we focus on the change.
If you want a true life example, I recommend that you read (or re-read) a book called: “Tuesdays With Morrie”. And I encourage you to share your comments below this post.
Contributed by:
Cindy Flores, Licensed Professional Counselor
Cindy Flores works with adults dealing with depression, anxiety, life transitions, eating disorders, interpersonal challenges, and academic/career issues. She also works with couples with relationship challenges. Utilizing a Mindfulness-based Cognitive approach, she is able to help clients identify negative self talk that limit them from reaching their potential, dysfunctional core beliefs that interfere with attainment of their goals and teach them evidence-based mindfulness techniques that enhance decision-making, stress-reduction and connection with others.
In addition, she is an adjunct professor at Immaculata University teaching graduate students in the Counseling Psychology Program. She considers it an honor to use her teaching and interpersonal skills to give back to the same University that provided her with the tools to become an effective counselor. Along with writings such as these, Cindy has contributed mindfulness presentations, meditation courses and other engaging content to Friends Life Care.
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