What happens to us as we age may be mostly out of our own control, yet how we respond to the process of aging can make a tremendous difference! How we think and move have a direct impact on how we feel and function in our daily lives.

We can choose to thrive as we get older, guided by some simple insights about how our mindset impacts us. Taking simple steps about the language we use can help flourish in our later years.

We Are Connected Beings

We always do what we think, because our cognitive system is connected to our muscular system. In the early 1900’s F.M. Alexander called this phenomenon “psycho-physical unity” and today we might call this concept mind-body unity or a biopsychosocial model.

One of my most profound moments of learning happened in a Zen Buddhism class when the sensei told us “There is no such thing as mind-body unity”.

I’m pretty sure I gasped loudly enough for the entire floor to hear – how could that be!??? He then quietly, calmly took a breath and followed with “you cannot put together what is already one.”

Indeed!

I experience this over and over again as an Alexander Technique teacher in witnessing how there is always an embodied response to our intention and attention. If you want to change an action, change the thought.

The Quality of Your Thoughts Impacts Everything You Do

Since we are always responding to thought with movement, it follows that the quality of our thoughts impacts the quality of our movement. Try this experiment: think of a very challenging situation you are facing and notice what happens to your breathing and to the muscles in your neck, shoulders and back.

Has anything changed?

Now redirect your thinking to recall a situation that made you feel joyous – how has your breathing and muscle tone changed now? We pick up visual cues from people around us every day – noticing when people are sad, nervous or excited based on how they move or what might be called their “body language”.

We might name the framework for the overall quality of our thinking as our mindset.

Mindset Acts as the Framework for the Quality of Our Thinking

Consider these two models to describe and compare mindsets:

Fixed or Growth

In a fixed growth set we have already decided what was, is and will be. There is no “wiggle-room”, only a fixed system. In a growth mindset we have the flexibility to consider and evaluate memories, experiences and plans within the context of other information. We allow our curiosity to show up and expand our database instead of relying on assumptions and pre-conceived notions.

 Scarcity or Abundance

Most of us are familiar with the metaphoric question of “is the glass half full or empty?” The pessimist focuses on what is missing – the empty space, while the optimist literally orients towards the positive space. We might name “half empty” as a scarcity mindset and “half full” as an abundance mindset. Of course, when we consider mindset, it isn’t simply what you perceive first so much as how you organize the overall framework for your observations. Fear is often driving a scarcity mindset, while gratitude is usually robust within an abundance mindset.

 As you read about these two contrasting mindset models, do you recognize your own tendencies? Does one or another mindset model feel more familiar? Our mindset literally sets the scene for our experience. Do you notice any changes in your breathing or in the relative comfort of your neck, back or shoulders as you read about scarcity versus abundance?

There is no correct mindset, yet there are choices we can make for how we feel and function.

Language – The Words We Use Matter!

The words we use to talk to ourselves steer our thoughts which directly impact all of our actions – from how we breathe to how we walk or play pickleball or a violin. We literally go where our thinking goes.

Positive versus negative

One of the simplest ways we can assess our language is to compare positive versus negative directions. Do you remember the tried-and-true riddle of “Don’t think of a pink elephant”? I remember my delight when I first experienced how this thought puzzle tricked me into doing exactly what I didn’t want to do. My thinking went where I directed it – to pink elephants.

Another example is to imagine what a basketball player is thinking as they aim and prepare for a free throw. I’m pretty sure they are not saying “I hope I don’t miss” and are more likely to say something like “I know where the basket is”.

To succeed with the consistency professional players need, they must train their language and thoughts where they want to go – to the basket.

We can apply this simple principle to how we talk to ourselves internally throughout the day. Practicing reframing our negative thoughts into positive ones can take some practice, but can be fun along the way!

Here are some experiments to try. Have some fun making variations that suit your situation and style:

Do you think or say “I have a bad back”?

Substitute with “My back is bothering me.”

Replace “I can’t” or “I shouldn’t do that” with “I’m not sure how this will go” or “I wonder if that is safe for me”.

Consider swapping “I’m not good at that” with “I don’t have a lot of skill doing that yet”.

Moving Towards Your Goals

These variations all aim at supporting you moving towards your goals. When we use negative language, we support a fixed mindset – we create a rigid, pre-determined outcome that I tease my students is akin to giving yourself a life sentence. Open ended and positive language helps support a growth mindset and helps emphasize what is possible and abundant. It can open up a world of possibilities.

What language will you choose to grow your curiosity and gratitude?

Start by making a plan. What is your goal? Ask yourself what words help cue you towards your “basket” and notice how those words effect you physically.

 

Contributed by: Ariel Weiss

Ariel Weiss is a certified Alexander Technique teacher who has nurtured a lively private practice in Philadelphia since 1988. Trained as a dancer and choreographer, she delights in helping people learn to move freely in cooperation with their structure so they can feel and function at their full potential.

In addition to her private practice, Ariel teaches seniors at Crosslands retirement community, coaches musicians at The Curtis Institute of Music, and coordinates a wellness program for ENT surgeons at Children’s Hospital of Philadelphia.

She teaches 3 weekly classes online including Move Free, Feel Free class for seniors each Tuesday at 10am – register here: https://calendly.com/atphila/move-free-feel-free. Ariel presented her TEDx talk Posture myth-busting: it’s easier than you think in 2021 and her 6-week introductory online workshop for Friends Life Care titled Living in Balance is available to watch here: https://www.alexandertechniquephiladelphia.com/resources. Learn more about Ariel and Alexander Technique at www.atphila.com or email ariel@atphila.com.

 

Friends Life Care appreciates this expert sharing information about healthy mindset — an important aspect of successful aging and is pleased to share it on the eMeetinghouse blog. Friends Life Care is a Quaker values based nonprofit that has been helping older adults to thrive at home as they age for decades. Aging in place is something most seniors and baby boomers want to do and we can help. One of our Plan Counselors welcome the opportunity to give you a free consultation and explain more about Friends Life Care membership.