Have you ever thought about adult development?

You probably spent a lot years developing yourself to be better in your profession, marriage and hobbies.

But did you ever try to be a better adult?

It’s something to consider as you age in place. And it’s something retired Harvard researcher and professor Dr. Robert Kegan thought about quite a bit – and eventually created the Theory of Adult Development. Technically, it’s the “evolution of consciousness, the personal unfolding of ways of organizing experience that are not simply replaced as we grow but subsumed into more complex systems of mind.”

Simplified, Dr. Kegan’s theory in practice is about our minds developing and evolving into forms of greater complexity throughout life – not just avoiding cognitive loss, but gaining it. Adults can  encourage development to a point where they question the status quo and envision better things for themselves, their organizations and society.

But about 65% of adults never reach that stage of development.

The stages of development

Here are the stages:

• 1:  Impulsive Mind (early childhood when you mainly think about just your wants and needs)
• 2: Imperial Mind (adolescence when you might shift some focus to the well-being of others and society, but mostly to achieve your own interests)
• 3: Socialized Mind (adulthood when you see and think more universally as part of a society)
• 4: Self-Authoring Mind (adulthood when you understand who you are and aren’t defined by how others and society see you. You develop an internal criteria for right and wrong because you see some societal norms are harmful), and
• 5: Self-Transforming Mind (adulthood when you’re aware of your unique identity within society, and view it all with objectivity, willing to evolve and embrace paradox and change).

How to develop as an adult

No adult stage is better than the other. But it’s important for adults to keep learning, gain new skills and acquire more knowledge. Becoming more of a developed adult in Kegan’s theory is mostly about transformation. That means, use your knowledge to change the way you know and understand the world.

So as you age in place, you might want to take steps to in adult development.

These tips come from Cahide Akkuzu, a Master Certified Coach, Team Coach, Leadership Development Consultant:

Clarify

Clarify your views and thoughts. People have opinions on everything today – pulled from good sources such as experience and education, then possibly mixed with insight from lesser sources such as social media. And many people use social media as a platform to express their opinions. Those tend to come from the Socialized Mind.

To move toward the Self-Authoring Mind, you want to spend time on subjects that are important to you – for instance, well-being, charity, finances, spirituality or management. Then create your personal definition for it and how it aligns with your values. It’s important to analyze your frame of reference on the subject, coming to a conclusion on the thoughts, beliefs and values that formed your opinion. For instance, ask yourself:

• Where are my thoughts and beliefs coming from?
• What is the learned pattern?
• Did I adopt these ideas from a specific person or group?
• What assumptions do I base these beliefs on?
• What knowledge did I pursue to gain more insight on the subject?

Determine

Once you clarify what you think, you’ll want to determine what you want based on that. It’s important in this step to make sure it’s what you want for yourself, not what you think others want from you. For instance, if you’ve clarified your view on spirituality, don’t focus on what your pastor or spouse might want (they likely have different views anyway). Focus on what you want and what you might want from others to gain it.

Adult development isn’t about demanding. It’s about determining what’s best for you and your beliefs. So in the case of spirituality, you might determine:

• I want to feel spiritually fulfilled and have direction on how I can impact society when I leave services every week.

From there, you might determine what you want from others to gain what you want. For instance:

• I want my pastor to spend time with me to connect scripture to modern day actions.
• I want my spouse to support my efforts in the community by giving me the time and space to make a positive impact.

Understand

Finally, you need to understand your reasons for what you want. That helps you come full circle on the Socialized Mind.

To find the “why” behind what you want, consider the positive and negative views: Do you want it to reach a dream and become a more fulfilled person? Or do you want it to avoid experiencing a negative emotion such as guilt, uncertainty or contempt? Either is OK. It’s just important to understand why you want what you want so you’re focused in pursuit of it.

Spend time in self-reflection to identify the reasons behind your wants. They may change over time and that can help you change course in your pursuit of them.

 

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Friends Life Care is a mission-driven Quaker value based nonprofit that — for over 30 years — has been helping older adults — especially Friends Life Care members — to thrive at home as they age.  If you are not yet a Friends Life Care member, connect with us and get the answers you need from one of our Plan Counselors on the benefits joining.  

Membership is open to people aged 40 – 85, in reasonably good health who are residents of southeastern Pennsylvania or Delaware.